November 16, 2011…Learn to laugh at life’s craziness, it will keep you sane!

Well we are home…after another horrible, painful and intolerable treatment week we are home! Our trip definitely started out to be anything but easy. For starters, the suitcase that had Bailey and I’s clothes, was mistakenly left at home and we didn’t notice until 8pm on Saturday night (the night before our flight to NY) when we were in the hotel in New Orleans, which meant there was no time to go back home to retrieve our things. So Bailey and I made the most of this mishap and found the nearest Target to get a few outfits to get by with for the week. Then if that wasn’t bad enough, when we landed in NY, I didn’t grab our phones from the seat back pocket, so our phones were left on the plane. I noticed that I had left them as soon as we got into the taxi, so I made the taxi driver pull over so I could go back in side to retrieve them. That turned out to be a complete waste of time, because the staff memeber that was supposed to go get our phones “didn’t get around to it” as he put it, although I was standing there waiting all the while. Unbeknown to me, mimi and Bailey were getting kicked out of the taxi and put on the curb with our luggage because the taxi driver couldn’t wait any longer for me to return, despite mimi saying that we would pay extra if he would just stay. So as you can see the beginning of our trip was definitely a test of my patience to say the least. As any sane person would do, I simply laughed along with Bailey and Mimi of course, because let’s face it…it was a pretty comical sight to see my poor mother with three suitcases and two carry on bags and poor little Bailey in her wheelchair standing on the curb in the middle of one of the busiest airports in the world, waiting on me to return because the taxi driver kicked them out! Bailey’s journey has definitely taught me this valuable lesson about days that don’t seem to go your way…no reason to get upset and ruin a good day…just learn to laugh, eventually everything will work out :)

My little girl has finished the second high dose round of 3f8 and I couldn’t be happier. Once again she had a very rough week. I was hoping that this round would have been a little easier on her since her body already had such a tough time with round 1 but unfortunately that was not the case. Monday of treatment was probably one of the most scariest days of my life. As Bailey was in the middle of treatment her heart rate elevated over 200, her blood pressure went to 57/36 and she was unresponsive. There were three nurses in the room trying everything they could to get her to respond and nothing was working. They pushed on the middle of her chest were her mediport is ( a very painful thing to do as her mediport sits directly on her breastbone)…nothing…they squeezed her feet (which is a very painful thing for Bailey due to all the nerve damage she has from the original tumor)…nothing…they sat her up in the bed and shook her while her little body was basically lifeless…nothing! As they continued to try to get her to respond, mimi and I started praying as we stood by watching in complete disbelief as to what was happening right before our eyes. There was my little happy go lucky girl, who is always smiling and laughing, laying there unresponsive in this hospital bed. It was definitely one of the worst feelings to stand by and watch knowing that I could not take this away. After several minutes, which felt like hours, Bailey finally started responding. First she opened her eyes but quickly shut them, then she softly squeezed the nurses finger….and this was the signs they were waiting for! They began pumping her with fluid and eventually she came out of it and was answering us, although not in the most understandable language but we were happy she was making noise. The rest of the week was very painful for her but at least without all the scary issues that she experienced on Monday. Her nights were definitely worse than the days as far as pain goes. This round she was put on two pain patches instead of just one like the first round in addition to the dilaudid around the clock every threee hours, in hopes that this regiment would bring her some relief but unfortunately it did not and she had to suffer through as best she could.

Thankfully the high dose treatments are over and we are home to celebrate the Thanksgiving holidays with our family. We are so thankful that we will get to be home this year for Thanksgiving. Last year we spent the entire month of November in New York and although the food was good, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade was fun…it just wasn’t home! So here we are, at home and ready to relax for two weeks until it is time for us to return to New York. We will fly out on November 30th because Bailey will have to complete 14 cycles of radiation before her next 3f8 treatment begins, so we will have to spend 2-1/2 weeks in New York on our next trip. She will also repeat scans during our trip in December so I ask for extra prayers that all scans will still show clear and reconfirm her NED status!

As always thank you thank you thank you for all of the continued prayers and support! We are forever grateful for the support, prayers and blessings!

November 4, 2011….Happy Birthday to my little girl.You are beautiful to me in everyway…

To my sunshine…

So hard to believe you are 9 years old today. I must say that mommie feels much older on your birthday than I do on mine. I cannot tell you how happy I am that we are celebrating your 9th birthday! You are such a blessing to me and I honestly cannot imagine what my life would be like without you in it. You always like when I tell you stories about when you were little so today, on your special day, I will tell you a little about our wonderful life. The day you arrived was the day my entire life would change. Little did I know, that you my little girl, would open my eyes to seeing life in a whole new light. Of course, looking back, if I would have known then what I know now, then I would have known that I would have had to wait almost all day long for you to make your grand appearance, because as I know now, you always do things in your own timing.

Mommie checked into the hospital at midnight on November 3, 2002 ready to start the inducing process. I was so anxious for you to come so I could hold you in my arms. Because you would be coming three weeks early, I will say that mommie was very scared to say the least because at 21 years old I was not as smart as I am now and I worried alot LOL!!! (I have learned over the years not to worry so much because life has a funny way of working things out, especially when you put your faith in the Man Upstairs…anyways back to our story) So there I was in the hospital ready for you to come. The nurses put me in a room and they began giving me the medicine to help the whole labor and delivery process hurry along. Well needless to say at about 4pm in the afternoon you were still no where near ready to come out yet. I, being the impatient person I still am, was getting very restless and kept asking the nurses what the problem was. They then proceeded to tell me that you obviously were not ready to come out and that I would be going home to wait a few days then we would try this whole process again. I was not happy with that answer to say the least and insisted that I needed to go for a walk. As I was getting up to go for my walk, my water broke (which at the time I didn’t realize it was my water breaking and thought I had an “accident” which of course did not make matters any better).  So as the nurses pushed me back into that hospital bed, they began telling me that I needed to push. So mommie pushed and pushed but they could only see the top of your little head. Of course I should have known that you would not make this process easy for me by any means, because that is not your way! I think even as a baby God knew he better prepare me for how stubborn you would be :) So as two nurses put their whole body weight on top of my stomach to “help” me push you out, you finally decided that it was time. Well let me back up a minute, because I think I forgot to mention that during this time I was given three epidurals and not a single one of them worked and because it was so critical that you come out immediately there was not enough time for me to get anything else therefore I had to have you natural, which I did not in any way sign up for. I was not the mommie that wanted to try the whole natural birth thing because #1 I don’t like pain and #2 I was scared to death so I figured anything they could give me to help would be accepted with open arms!!!  

So after only a few mintues of pushing, which felt like an eternity to me, there you were…my beautiful 7lb little girl, born at 4:54pm. I cannot even describe the instant happiness and joy I felt at that exact moment. All of mommies worries and all of mommies pain magically disappeared…because all I could see was that I had been blessed with a beautiful perfect little girl. So you see my point in telling you this, is because I want you to know that 9 years later I still feel that exact same way every time I see you, hold you, touch you, play with you, cry with you, laugh with you. I could never imagine that I would love a person so much or that my love could grow any stronger that it was at that moment…but I do and it does. I love you with every inch of my being and you are my God given blessing. I really do not know what I did to ever deserve such a wonderful child like you but whatever it is, I thank God everyday that He gave me you.

We have had a very eventful life together to say the least. I know it hasn’t always been easy but I thank God everyday we still find reasons to smile, laugh and live life to the fullest. You really are my sunshine, which is why I have sang that song to you every night since the day you were born. You make me so happy each and everyday. I am so proud of the little girl you are becoming. You are a very strong, brave, carefree, loving and happy little girl…and that makes mommie so very happy. I know that you have been given a very tough cross to bear in life but the way you overcome each and every obstacle thrown your way never ceases to amaze me! You are definitely my hero!

Thank you for giving me the best 9 years of my life and I cannot wait to share many more with you! Not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for you….my beautiful Bailey!!!